… Of Weights, Measures and Newtons Second Law

Let’s stroll over to Kentucky where their governor has caused me to revisit my old physics lessons and retool Newtons Second Law so we might quantify the level of batshit crazy/stupid the guy actually is, but first this …

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Ok, let’s assemble our terms:
1. BevinMeter- Unit of measurement representing the distance between objective truth and the last syllable to pass Governor Bevins lips.
2. BevinGram- Unit of weight used in measuring the total amount of errant bullshit spewed by Governor Bevin anytime the governors pie hole is in operation.
3. BevinNewtons- Unit of measure representing the amount of force, also known as units of stupid, to cause a mass (Bevingram) to accelerate.
Giving us,
Force (BevinNewtons)= Mass (BevinGram) x Acceleration (BevinMeters/second squared)
There you have it kids, your political science lesson for today. I’ll leave you with this …

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… and yes, that is a Ted Cruz photobomb.

Your snowball, good luck.
Your snowball, good luck.

It’s All About The Walls

Walls, lets talk about them! They’ve always been popular, Hadrian’s wall, the Great wall of china, the Berlin wall, etc. … . They have, without exception, failed in their explicit purpose. They have however, succeed in ginning up the rubes that paid for them, as they elected or supported the builders that stoked their fears. By all means, continue dumb asses. I so enjoy seeing who you are.

Your snowball, good luck.
Your snowball, good luck.

When news breaks, we fix it

As Walter Winchell used to say — “Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. America from border to border and coast to coast and all the ships at sea.”

We have breaking news.

A source close to the Trump campaign tells Slickster that Rudy Giuliani will play the role of Hillary Clinton during Donald Trump’s debate preparation.

A Trump surrogate says Giuliani is “uniquely qualified for the role — if you know what I mean.”

giuliani

I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you

It’s comedy hour at Slickster. The person running Comrade Trump’s campaign, not the Breitbart dude who is so far to the right that when he looks left, he sees Attila the Hun, was in the spin cycle the other day.

Kellyanne Conway, who is widely acknowledged as a top notch Republican pollster, recently looked at the numbers and didn’t like them. Her candidate is in a free fall and is going to hit the ground hard.

So she came up with a joke of an idea. She told a reporter for England’s Channel 4 that Trump has a secret group of supporters. It’s kinda like the famous Silent Majority of Republican of years gone by — except this time, she says, it’s real.

She claimed that Trump’s main supporters prefer being polled on the Inter Webs instead of the phone because on the phone they are less inclined to admit their support for Vladimir Putin’s close and personal friend.

In other words, they are too embarrassed to say they plan to vote for Trump.

Seriously.

But, shhhhhhh. It’s a secret.

Just press play.

God’s Own Pigs

As fcking with women’s reproductive health services is the #1 political pastime in Texas, just edging out executing it’s citizens, this comes as a surprise to exactly no one. Family values my ass.

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“This alarming development coincided with the state’s decision to slash its family planning budget by two-thirds in 2011—an attempt to shut down abortion providers that ultimately forced 82 clinics, many of which never performed the controversial procedure, to close.”

Your snowball, good luck.
Your snowball, good luck.

 

#ImWithTheBlacks!

Do you remember Trump’s speech when he decided to start chasing the  African American vote? He gave it Tuesday, in West Bend, Wisc., a city about an hour’s drive from Milwaukee which is were riots had been taking place following a fatal police shooting of a black man.

trump againWhy Trump gave the speech in West Bend is still not clear. It is a city of a little more than 31,000 people. According to the 2010 census, 1.0 percent of the population is African American.

We’re not sure if there were African Americans in the crowd. The Donald didn’t point out to the gathering that there were. Nor did he single out someone and tell the crowd to “look at my African American over here” as he did during a June rally in Redding, Calif.

The speech was generally known not so much for what Trump said as it was for how he said it. He mostly got points for reading someone else’s words from a teleprompter without going off the rails.

His campaign was so proud of him that a press release quickly went out with quotes from media members citing the wonderful things being said about him and his speech.

Among them was a quote from Jill Colvin, a reporter with the Associated Press. “Jill Colvin: ‘Trump Sounds Like He’s Talking Directly To African Americans …’ (Twitter.com, 8/16/16)”

It is accurate if you are only interested in using part of the quote and that’s all his campaign was interested in. Oh, and check out the hash tag on Trump’s tweet.

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