Monthly Archives: July 2014

Way Cool Jr.

A child of the ’60s, the 1860s

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It’s time for another snark filled dispatch from beyond the edge of sanity, in that realm of stupidity currently occupied by the monkey house that is the GOP.

It was my intention to have some fun at the expense of human shitstain Ted Nugent because, well, why not, there’s no shortage of material where the right wing’s favorite gun humping, draft dodger is concerned, even though Slappy accused me of going for the low hanging fruit. I couldn’t really argue because some days you just don’t want to work that hard.

Anyway, imagine my surprise when I came across someone clearly playing at a higher level of batshit crazy than even old jailbait Ted.

With thanks to The Raw Story, and Right Wing Watch, let me introduce Michael Peroutla, Maryland Republican nominee for the Anne Arundel County council, and noted bible thumping, god-bothering secessionist.

From the Raw Story,

“You need to secede and then you need to have the biblical understanding of law and government, and make the applications,” Peroutka told the League of the South in 2012. “So we need to take the biblical understand of law and government into account no matter what the outcome is with respect to the crumbling of the current regime.”

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Doesn’t he seem nice?

I’ve noted in the past the kind of mischief caused by low voter turnout, and here is a perfect example folks. This bit of unreconstructed human flotsam emerged from a Republican primary that included four other candidates, I haven’t the courage to research the losers. On a further distressing note, the area of Maryland he’s seeking to represent isn’t some hick outpost in the sticks, Anne Arundel county, has more than 500,000 residents, and includes Annapolis which is the county seat.

Before I close, let’s crack the asylum door for another peek at his style of governance, and note that he’s a practicing lawyer.

Once again from Right Wing Watch:

 He recently presented his theory that the Maryland General Assembly is “no longer a valid legislative body” because it passed laws that he deems to be violations of “God’s law,” including a marriage equality bill and a stormwater tax. Last year, he said that state and local prosecutors should just ignore Roe v. Wade and prosecute women who have abortions or their providers for murder.

Peroutka’s spokesman told the Capital Gazette yesterday that the candidate “would evaluate each piece of legislation to be sure it was authorized by God in the Bible, the U.S. Constitution and the Anne Arundel County Charter” and would look into privatizing road repairs and the fire department.

There may not be all that much we can do, about the fact, that folks like this are free to walk among us. But when our fellow citizens start electing them to public office we are all one step closer to awakening one morning and finding ourselves citizens of the Christian Republic of Dumbfuckistan.

Oh, and by the way, that 2012 League of the South meeting? His closing remarks were a request for the audience to join him in singing the national anthem, wherein they rose and sang Dixie.image                         I shit you not.

 

Way Cool Jr.

Rick Perry wants to be president, here is why that is not acceptable

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Thanks to Thinkprogress, we learned yesterday that curiously human shaped turd Texas Gov. Goodhair “…will not sit idly by…” as the Central American child shock troops continue their blitzkrieg on our southern boarders. After determining that patriots, such as this,GTY_adam_kwasman_jef_140716_16x9_6081
deserve reinforcements, and taking a moment away from admiring how his new “smart” glasses set off his jaw (bone of an ass). The Gov. announced that he would be sending 1,000 National Guard troops to the border.
“I will not stand idly by,” Perry said in making the announcement. He told CNN, “The first thing you have to do is stop the flow [of migrants into the United States].” He also claimed border patrol agents would be distracted by kids crossing the border and would not be able to stop drug traffickers.
Apparently, believing that the U.S. boarder patrol agents are not capable of performing more than one task at a time, stopping drug traffickers and children, due to the especially aggressive tactics of the small brown hoards, i.e., searching out the agents to surrender to, the Gov. decided to heed the call of noted konstituional skolar, Rep. Steve King R- Iowa (Moron)
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Now there is not just one problem here, but we have to start somewhere, so why not with the Supreme Court, and something known as the Supremacy Clause and, not for nothing the fact that Rep. King and a bag of hammers have so much in common.
Seems the court has already ruled on this brand of dumbassery by telling the states that, as it  concerns this immigration issue, well, that is Fed business, so keep your noses and your troops out.
While they were at it, the court invalidated state laws that sought to legislate immigration reform, I’m looking at you Arizona (S.B.1070). Therefore, Rep. King has managed to meet my already low expectations and wrong-footed himself at each opportunity. Well done good sir — truly well done.
Does anyone else have a problem with the dim star, of the lone star state’s plan? Why yes, step right up Congressman Joaquin Castro (D-Texas,) what have you for us today?
“The children fleeing violence in Central America are seeking out border patrol agents. They are not trying to evade them. Why send soldiers to confront these kids?” Castro told Politico, slamming Perry for militarizing a humanitarian situation. “Militarizing our border is the wrong response to the arrival of children.”
That’s nice congressman, but when the governer’s base supporters think this should be the response to their arrival at the border,
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you’ll need to speak up to be heard over the cheering and mouth-breathing of the border loving patriots.
There is more here, but you won’t hear it from me, just follow the link. I will be drinking alone early today.

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Way Cool Jr.

The lion of Fallujah and the flock he served

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[Snark off]

Recently at Esquire’s Politics blog, frequent guest contributor, Lt. Col. Robert Bateman posted a story of the name behind a star in the CIA headquarters.

For clarification, the stars, which adorn a wall inside the lobby, represent a fallen individual, in the service of the organization. Normally, I would read this story without comment, however, having a great deal of knowledge about the man this star represents, Maj.  Douglas A. Zembiec, USMC (KIA), and having watched former V.P. Dick Cheney be interviewed three times in the past three weeks, on TV, I am, by my temperment, bound to comment.

Lt. Col. Bateman provides an anecdote from an enlisted combat veteran who served under Maj.  Zembiec. It is as poignant as it is telling of Zembiec’s leadership.

“He was the sort of guy who, when a Marine met his father sometime after the battle (and after that Marine had been posted to another unit) asked, him if he was (then) Capt. Zembiec’s father. When told that he was, the Marine responded, “I was with him in Fallujah, and if we had to go back in there, I’d follow him in with a spoon.”

 

Major Zembiec’s actions during the Battle of Fallujah, in 2004, earned him the moniker, “The Lion of Fallujah”, as well as the Silver Star, Bronze Star w/ Combat V and two Purple Hearts. His actions are detailed in Bing West’s book, No True Glory: A Front-Line Account of the Battle of Fallujah, as well as a Wall Street Journal article following Maj. Zembiec’s death.

Major Zemiec was one to the highest caliber citizen-soldiers this country can produce and a tragic example of the price our country paid, in blood, for having been lied into an illegal war.

It is here at the confluence of lies, dead warriors, and the continuing parade of unindicted war criminals, put forward by the media, that compel me to comment, or, if you like, vent.

To start, I will give what limited credit, where such credit is due, and note that former President G.W. Bush has remained silent on matters of foreign wars during his post-presidential years, (I would like to think, under the advise of legal counsel). However, former VP Dick Cheney and former defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld have chosen a different course.

Cheney has been provided a venue, afforded by the major media outlets, to regale the viewing public with his total lack of irony, and self-reflection as he blames the current president for the state of affairs in Iraq. All the while deflecting any attempts to hold him accountable for his roll in the folly and tragedy that became the Iraq War. That he is not in shackles making these statements from a cell in the Hague, is a question that I would like to see addressed in his lifetime.

Rumsfeld, featured in Errol Morris’ 2013 documentary, “Uncovered: The War in Iraq,” continues to display such towering arrogance and unrepentant smugness as to beggar the imagination.

With the blood of more than 4,000 U.S. troops killed and 100,000 plus Iraqis dead on his hands, how Rumsfeld remains free to move among us, in open society, is a question well deserving an answer.

As Charles P. Pierce, at Esquire.com is wont to muse ”…at the very least, he should spend the rest of his days cleaning the bed pans of the permanently disabled veterans in Walter Reed.”

Were it only so. There are, of course, others whom I have not addressed, whose culpability is no less egregious. I’m looking at you Paul Wolfowitz, Douglas Feith, Marc Thiessen, et al., ad nauseam.

That the misadventure in Iraq was predicated on a bed of lies and misinformation is widely accepted by most objective consumers of information as fact.

The perpetrators of the misadventure have not, and in all likelihood, will never be held accountable for the damage done to our military forces, international reputation, and treasury, is fairly well accepted.

Our national media, whose role should have been to find the truth and drag it kicking and screaming to light, chose to be cheerleaders for the plan to boost Haliburtions profit/loss ratios, as well as, generating a sharp decline in available plots in Arlington National Cemetery and others across the country, stands as their crowning disgrace.

In all, a sad tale, one not worthy of the sacrifice endured by Maj. Zembiec’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Don Zembiec, his brother, and his wife and daughter, Pamela and Fallyn.

Maj. Zembiec would likely disagree on the grounds that the mission and the welfare of his men overrode all other considerations, that anything else was “noise on the net.”

By all accounts, especially those of his men, Maj. Zembiec was a warrior in the spirit of which all Marines are trained to perform, and so few excel beyond their time and place, as he did.

I am unsure we, as a country, deserve such people.

Sam Damon

Walkin’ small but carrying a big stick

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So tell us dude in the red shirt, tea party mo fo from the Peoples’ Republic of Arizona — what were you going to do with that stick?

GTY_adam_kwasman_jef_140716_16x9_608The stick you were holding with your right hand on a bright sunny day while apparently pointing at something — maybe a bus — carrying kids to the Y?

Yeah, the Y.

What’s crazy about the photo is that you’re apparently trying to explain to your main man and fellow tea sipper state Rep. Adam Kwasman, how you were only going to use your stick to beat the hell out of Central American kids, or Mexican kids, or kids from down there, or over there, or somewhere.

See, that Kwasman guy sent out a message on the super secret tea party message system — Twitter — to make sure you’d be there to stop the bus and teach a lesson to them little shit heads who’d traveled thousands, hundreds, tens of miles through mine fields, property owned by drug lords and a smelly-assed river, to cut your grass or serve you a marguerite.

They’re unwelcome, of course, unless they were really good at picking cotton.

(Look away, look away, look away, Dixie land …)

No matter how Kwasman’s message was received, it read:

“Bus coming in. This is not compassion. This is the abrogation of the rule of law.”

It didn’t quite say Annie get your gun, but if you had saved enough stamps to spend on the decoder ring, you would have figured out that a red shirt and stick were part of the uniform of the day.

By the way, what kind of name is Kwasman? Does it sound Murican enough to you guy in the red shirt with a stick in your right hand readSam Damony to beat the liven’ jesus out of some kid from somewhere south of the People’s Republic of Arizona?

Kwasman sounds like a lot of other Murican names such as Gehrig, Garcia, Sandberg, Jimenez, Smith, Musial, Cronkite, Eisenhower, Cruz, Palin, McCain, Jeter, Johnson, Nimitz, Sullenberger or Boehner.

Guy in the red shirt — you know where you can stick that stick. The sun ain’t shinin’ there.

Way Cool Jr.

Lincoln should have sent Sherman to Texas as well

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As thimagee sun rose in Texas Tuesday morning, the racists uh, members of the Sons of Confederate Veterans awoke to bask in the glory of their victory over the tyranny of the freedom hating Texas DMV.

It seems, with no sense of irony whatsoever, the SCV petitioned the federal courts to force Texas to issue license plates with the Confederate battle flag, because a bumper sticker of the flag of a racist, treasonous  army simply wasn’t good enough.

From the Dallas Morning News:
The judges ruled that license plates are a form of “private speech,” and thus protected by the First Amendment. The court also ruled that the Board’s rejection of the plate “favored one speaker over another.”

As always, in cases such as this, one must remember, it’s about heritage, not hate. Of course, if your expressed heritage is symbolized by the banner of a defeated on the battlefield, pro-slavery, breakaway confederacy, well then since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I know I’ll be beholding a racist douchebag piece of shit.

Thank you for self-identifying to the rest of us.

Slappy

Welcome my friends to the show that never ends

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Way Cool Jr. and I were sitting at our favorite watering hole about a year ago talking about how some people have their heads so far up their asses they can’t tell the difference between the truth and FOX News.Slappy

It became more and more apparent as the days of the Obama presidency rolled by that there wasn’t a lot of love for the guy in the room.  Much of it was pure dumbassery. The same guy who called Obama a socialist one day, called him a fascist the next.

Like I said, dumbassery.

Of course that small sample of hate and prejudice has nothing on the stuff the Dip Stick masquerading as the Speaker of the House and his boys and gals come up with when they tumble out of the Klown Kar.

It doesn’t end there, of course. Dumbassery is, after all, contagious. It has spread to folks on both sides of the aisle, whether the aisle is in Congress or the Piggly Wiggly down the street.

Almost anyone has access to Photoshop or a similar program. Folks pass around photos on Facebook captioned with ridicule or the ridiculous about those who don’t think like they do, and feel mighty proud of themselves.

Way Cool and I have been talking about this Interwebs deal for a long time. We wanted a place where we can talk about the issues that affect us. All of it. From here to there. So we came up with Slickster.net.

This thing will evolve as we grow. We’ll lose the things that don’t work and hopefully improve the things that do. We don’t expect you to agree with everything we post here. In fact, we hope you’ll let us know what you think and tell your friends about us.

Look for entries from our friends Kilgore Trout, Sea Hag and Sam Damon.

Way Cool Jr. kicks things off  with a look at some dumbassery down in Kentucky.

As Donald Sutherland sang in a movie called “Hollow Point,” “They’re going to find your anus on a mountain on Mars …”

Way Cool Jr.

The hero of Dumbass Township, or why you should vote

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“I won’t get into the debate about climate change,” said Sen. Brandon Smith, a Hazard Republican. “But I’ll simply point out that I think in academia we all agree that the temperature on Mars is exactly as it is here. Nobody will dispute that. Yet there are no coal mines on Mars. Therimagee’s no factories on Mars that I’m aware of.”

This gem of word salad was produced, as noted above, by Kentucky State Sen. Brandon Smith, R-(of course)  Hazard (Moral), during discussions by state lawmakers on the EPA’s new carbon emission regulations on Kentucky. Wherein, the collective membership of the Acadamy of Sciences on both planets said, “What the fuck? When did they legalize pot in the Bluegrass State?”

Sen. Smith was not alone is his quest to publicly display complete scientific ignorance. State Rep. Kevin Sinnette D-(really?) Ashland, added the following:

“The dinosaurs died, and we don’t know why, but the world adjusted. And to say that this is what’s going to cause detriment to people, I just don’t think it’s out there.”

I present this bipartisan example of stupid not to discuss the merits of the EPA’s new carbon emission standards, or enter the debate on climate change (there is no debate, so shut up), rather my point is (I love making fun of idiots!) that politicians of this caliber (small bore), aren’t elected in a vacuum, rather they are allowed to show up and govern  due, in large part, to the apathy of the electorate on election day.