Category Archives: Sam Damon

When news breaks, we fix it

As Walter Winchell used to say — “Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. America from border to border and coast to coast and all the ships at sea.”

We have breaking news.

A source close to the Trump campaign tells Slickster that Rudy Giuliani will play the role of Hillary Clinton during Donald Trump’s debate preparation.

A Trump surrogate says Giuliani is “uniquely qualified for the role — if you know what I mean.”

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I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you

It’s comedy hour at Slickster. The person running Comrade Trump’s campaign, not the Breitbart dude who is so far to the right that when he looks left, he sees Attila the Hun, was in the spin cycle the other day.

Kellyanne Conway, who is widely acknowledged as a top notch Republican pollster, recently looked at the numbers and didn’t like them. Her candidate is in a free fall and is going to hit the ground hard.

So she came up with a joke of an idea. She told a reporter for England’s Channel 4 that Trump has a secret group of supporters. It’s kinda like the famous Silent Majority of Republican of years gone by — except this time, she says, it’s real.

She claimed that Trump’s main supporters prefer being polled on the Inter Webs instead of the phone because on the phone they are less inclined to admit their support for Vladimir Putin’s close and personal friend.

In other words, they are too embarrassed to say they plan to vote for Trump.

Seriously.

But, shhhhhhh. It’s a secret.

Just press play.

#ImWithTheBlacks!

Do you remember Trump’s speech when he decided to start chasing the  African American vote? He gave it Tuesday, in West Bend, Wisc., a city about an hour’s drive from Milwaukee which is were riots had been taking place following a fatal police shooting of a black man.

trump againWhy Trump gave the speech in West Bend is still not clear. It is a city of a little more than 31,000 people. According to the 2010 census, 1.0 percent of the population is African American.

We’re not sure if there were African Americans in the crowd. The Donald didn’t point out to the gathering that there were. Nor did he single out someone and tell the crowd to “look at my African American over here” as he did during a June rally in Redding, Calif.

The speech was generally known not so much for what Trump said as it was for how he said it. He mostly got points for reading someone else’s words from a teleprompter without going off the rails.

His campaign was so proud of him that a press release quickly went out with quotes from media members citing the wonderful things being said about him and his speech.

Among them was a quote from Jill Colvin, a reporter with the Associated Press. “Jill Colvin: ‘Trump Sounds Like He’s Talking Directly To African Americans …’ (Twitter.com, 8/16/16)”

It is accurate if you are only interested in using part of the quote and that’s all his campaign was interested in. Oh, and check out the hash tag on Trump’s tweet.

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Any way the wind blows …

Iowa Congressman Steve King has never been one who claims to be politically correct.

Not so long ago,  on TV talk shows he tested his theory that non-whites have contributed diddly to society.

The blues alone would be enough of a contribution for me, but there’s  no need go into what people of color have accomplished, created, achieved and contributed to our every day lives.

King also defended having a miniature Confederate Flag on his desk in DC. He appeared to be was pleased with citing First Amendment rights. Isn’t it amazing how important knowledge of the Constitution becomes when defending yourself for being a douche?

King Confederate flagThe list of King’s dumbassery is long. Just click here to have a look at some of it. It’s worth your time.

Here’s just a taste.

“For everyone who’s a valedictorian, there’s another 100 out there that weigh 130 pounds and they’ve got calves the size of cantaloupes because they’re hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert.”

But like most politicians, King is smart enough to wet a finger and stick it in the air from time to time to check which way the wind is blowing. He did that just recently and the wind told him that his boy, Comrade Trump, has just a 1-point lead over Hillary Clinton in a state that is normally colored Deep Red.

With that in mind and running for reelection, King spoke on the stump Thursday at the Iowa State Fair and said something very revealing. While he peppered the talk with praise for The Donald, King made a surprising remark about Hillary Clinton being someone he could work with.

I must have misremembered (or lies, damned lies and more damned lies)

Evidently The Donald has never met a lie he didn’t like. Newsweek’s Kurt Eichenwald has provided a well-crafted essay on Trump’s penchant for dishonesty on the magazine’s web site. It’s well-worth your time.

As Don Fanucci in Godfather II might say, “Here’s a little somethingDon Fanucci to wet your beak.”

“In December 2008, just after the Democrats won the White House, Trump wrote on his personal blog, “Hillary is smart, tough and a very nice person and so is her husband.” He then added, “Bill Clinton was a great president.” The words are simple and clear. Earlier this year, in a deposition given in a lawsuit against Trump involving allegations of fraud regarding his real estate courses (called Trump University), the plaintiff’s lawyer asked Trump if he had ever called Bill Clinton a great president. Trump refused to answer directly, saying the scandal involving Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky had damaged his presidency. Finally, the lawyer showed Trump the blog post in which he had praised Bill Clinton as president and asked if Trump believed what he wrote.

“I was fine with it at the time,” Trump replied. “I think in retrospect, looking back, it was not a great presidency because of his scandals.” In other words, in 2008 Trump thought Clinton was a great president, but then because of the Lewinsky scandal—something that occurred a decade before that blog post—he changed his mind. How did he explain the obvious lie? “It’s not something I gave very much thought to then because I wasn’t in politics,” he said.”