The Clown Car is making a stop in Simi Valley, Califorina tonight at the Saint Ronnie Hall of Shame Reagan Presidential Libary, for the second stop on the Stupidity Pays tour, aka. Popcorn and bourbon night at my house. Don’t miss the show folks, in all seriousness, this may be a once in a lifetime event or the start of our dystopian new normal.
Well, here we learn the benefits of being a lazy “writer”, while procrastinating commenting on Jeb Bush’s (Sprout’s) entrance into the GOP nominating race I’ll be damned if Donald Trump, king of the GOP ass clowns, (which is saying quite a bit), shows up to the party.
These two curiously human shaped turds could hardly be more dissimilar. Bush, as you know, is brother to one past president and son of another. Being slightly left of Genghis Khan but still to the right of Richard Nixon makes Sprout the closest thing the GOP has to offer that the term “establishment candidate” when applied wouldn’t simply lose all meaning in the English language.
Trump, on the other hand, is the billionaire son of a Brooklyn slum lord whose grasp of reality would indicate origins somewhere in the Delta Tau system and is to the GOP what E. coli is to a wedding rehearsal diner.
I can scarcely think of a better roster of bedwetting grifters, political hacks, and religious charlatans than the current GOP lineup. Led off by the man whose name must not be spoken, anchored by the comb over vector of stupid with an assortment of has-beens, never will bes, and never weres occupying the wasteland between the two. Ridiculous as that maybe there are more out there yet to announce, two of which will compete mightily for the top and bottom spots on the roster.
Stay tuned there’s more to come but for now the stable of stupid is in balance.
Marco Rubio, come on down and play ‘Who is not going to be president’. Yep, by now I’m sure you know Sen. Rubio has decided to bless the GOP circular firing squad with his full participation in driving the clown car to political irrelevance. I was going to say “unwavering participation” but Marco is a full on wavering kind of guy. What say we take a peek inside the pantry and see what’s in stock.
OK, we’ve got some GOP flavored climate change bullshit.
According to Rubio, attempts to address climate change were pointless because scientists could not prove that any solution would be worth the damage it did to the economy.
“If we do the things they want us to do — cap and trade, you name it — how much will that change the pace of climate change versus how much will it cost our economy?” the candidate asked. “Scientists can’t tell us what impact it would have on reversing these changes. But I can tell you with certainty that it would have a devastating impact on our economy.”
So, it may or may not be a thing, and even if it is it will be too expensive to remedy? I might suggest that you rethink your cost/benefit analysis, Koch sucker, unless you’ve a planet in your pocket.
What’s next, marriage equality? Why sure, got some right here.
When Schieffer asked him about his opposition to LGBT rights, Rubio argued: “It’s not that I’m against gay marriage, I believe the definition of the institution of marriage should be between one man and one woman.”
That, my friends, is a beautiful example of attempting to square the circle.
Moving on, I see some sincerely held religious beliefs over in the corner, at least they once were.
Among the faith-deranged, Rubio stands out. He briefly dumped one magic book for another, converting from Roman Catholicism to Mormonism and then back again.
Yet even as a re-minted Catholic, Rubio cheats on the Pope with a mega-church in Miami called Christ Fellowship. As religion and politics blogger Bruce Wilson points out, Christ Fellowship is a hotbed of “demonology and exorcism, Young Earth creationism, and denial of evolution,” and is so intolerant it demands its prospective employees certify they are not “practicing homosexuals” and don’t cheat on their spouses.
He’s quite the pudding cup of Gibraltar when it comes to God bothering.
Here’s more science on the shelf, oh, it looks like evolutionary theory.
As regards evolution, Rubio confesses that he’s “not a scientist” and so cannot presume to judge the fact of evolution on its merits, and holds that creationism should be taught in schools as just one of many “multiple theories” about our origins.
What is up with the “… I’m not a scientist …” disclaimer among GOP politicians? I barely recognize any of you as sentient life forms, please stop flattering yourselves. Enough of that, lets get back to the Rubio pantry and see what’s left.
Well, I’ll be damned, seems young Marco has a taste for that sweet Koch money, a taste shared by the other two proclaimed candidates.
Three potential Republican presidential candidates appeared before a gathering of wealthy donors organized by the conservative billionaire Koch brothers in California on Sunday night.
The summit, held at a luxury resort near Palm Springs sealed off to outsiders, drew Republican Senators Marco Rubio from Florida, Rand Paul from Kentucky and Ted Cruz from Texas.
I would have expected to find that in the closet rather than the pantry but everything is going mainstream these days.
There you have it Slicksters, it’s now a GOP menage a trios; religion, repression, and science denial. What? What did you think I meant? Ah shit, put the baby oil down and get out of here.