Tag Archives: Donald Trump

I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you

It’s comedy hour at Slickster. The person running Comrade Trump’s campaign, not the Breitbart dude who is so far to the right that when he looks left, he sees Attila the Hun, was in the spin cycle the other day.

Kellyanne Conway, who is widely acknowledged as a top notch Republican pollster, recently looked at the numbers and didn’t like them. Her candidate is in a free fall and is going to hit the ground hard.

So she came up with a joke of an idea. She told a reporter for England’s Channel 4 that Trump has a secret group of supporters. It’s kinda like the famous Silent Majority of Republican of years gone by — except this time, she says, it’s real.

She claimed that Trump’s main supporters prefer being polled on the Inter Webs instead of the phone because on the phone they are less inclined to admit their support for Vladimir Putin’s close and personal friend.

In other words, they are too embarrassed to say they plan to vote for Trump.

Seriously.

But, shhhhhhh. It’s a secret.

Just press play.

Any way the wind blows …

Iowa Congressman Steve King has never been one who claims to be politically correct.

Not so long ago,  on TV talk shows he tested his theory that non-whites have contributed diddly to society.

The blues alone would be enough of a contribution for me, but there’s  no need go into what people of color have accomplished, created, achieved and contributed to our every day lives.

King also defended having a miniature Confederate Flag on his desk in DC. He appeared to be was pleased with citing First Amendment rights. Isn’t it amazing how important knowledge of the Constitution becomes when defending yourself for being a douche?

King Confederate flagThe list of King’s dumbassery is long. Just click here to have a look at some of it. It’s worth your time.

Here’s just a taste.

“For everyone who’s a valedictorian, there’s another 100 out there that weigh 130 pounds and they’ve got calves the size of cantaloupes because they’re hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert.”

But like most politicians, King is smart enough to wet a finger and stick it in the air from time to time to check which way the wind is blowing. He did that just recently and the wind told him that his boy, Comrade Trump, has just a 1-point lead over Hillary Clinton in a state that is normally colored Deep Red.

With that in mind and running for reelection, King spoke on the stump Thursday at the Iowa State Fair and said something very revealing. While he peppered the talk with praise for The Donald, King made a surprising remark about Hillary Clinton being someone he could work with.

I must have misremembered (or lies, damned lies and more damned lies)

Evidently The Donald has never met a lie he didn’t like. Newsweek’s Kurt Eichenwald has provided a well-crafted essay on Trump’s penchant for dishonesty on the magazine’s web site. It’s well-worth your time.

As Don Fanucci in Godfather II might say, “Here’s a little somethingDon Fanucci to wet your beak.”

“In December 2008, just after the Democrats won the White House, Trump wrote on his personal blog, “Hillary is smart, tough and a very nice person and so is her husband.” He then added, “Bill Clinton was a great president.” The words are simple and clear. Earlier this year, in a deposition given in a lawsuit against Trump involving allegations of fraud regarding his real estate courses (called Trump University), the plaintiff’s lawyer asked Trump if he had ever called Bill Clinton a great president. Trump refused to answer directly, saying the scandal involving Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky had damaged his presidency. Finally, the lawyer showed Trump the blog post in which he had praised Bill Clinton as president and asked if Trump believed what he wrote.

“I was fine with it at the time,” Trump replied. “I think in retrospect, looking back, it was not a great presidency because of his scandals.” In other words, in 2008 Trump thought Clinton was a great president, but then because of the Lewinsky scandal—something that occurred a decade before that blog post—he changed his mind. How did he explain the obvious lie? “It’s not something I gave very much thought to then because I wasn’t in politics,” he said.”

The Donald Knows Best

The folks with elephant pooper scoopers were out in full force again Thursday cleaning up after The Donald’s latest mess.

Trump told folks at a rally in Florida Wednesday that ISIS honor President Obama as its founder and said Hillary Clinton, his opponent for the presidency, was its “co-founder.”

Not only was he wrong, but he was embarrassingly wrong and his surrogates had to go to work and scoop up another pile of, well, you know.

His good media buddy, Hugh Hewitt, a righty radio talk show host, was only too happy Thursday to try to bring Trump back to reality.

Hewitt offered Trump a way out of the comments, but The Donald Knows Best and was having nothing to do with it.

“… Hugh Hewlitt: I’ve got two more questions. Last night,hugh hewitt you said the President was the founder of ISIS. I know what you meant. You meant that he created the vacuum, he lost the peace.
Donald Trump: No, I meant he’s the founder of ISIS. I do. He was the most valuable player. I give him the most valuable player award. I give her, too, by the way, Hillary Clinton.
HH: But he’s not sympathetic to them. He hates them. He’s trying to kill them.
DT: I don’t care. He was the founder. His, the way he got out of Iraq was that that was the founding of ISIS, okay?
HH: Well, that, you know, I have a saying, Donald Trump, the pneumonic device I use is Every Liberal Really Seems So, So Sad. E is for Egypt, L is for Libya, S is for Syria, R is for Russia reset. They screwed everything up. You don’t get any argument from me. But by using the term founder, they’re hitting with you on this again. Mistake?
DT: No, it’s no mistake. Everyone’s liking it. I think they’re liking it. I give him the most valuable player award. And I give it to him, and I give it to, I gave the co-founder to Hillary. I don’t know if you heard that. …”

Nice try Hugh, but you should know by now that you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.

The Donald Knows Best.

 

Man down

Well, it had to start with someone

ST. LOUIS (AP) — Out of money and relegated once again to the back-of-the-pack debate, former Texas Gov. Rick Perry on Friday dropped out of the race for president, ending his second bid for the Republican presidential nomination and becoming the first major candidate of the 2016 campaign to give up on the White House.

The Perry champaign has run aground, the good news is he is now free to spend more time with his family lawyers.

Rick Perry is still facing a felony abuse of power count in Texas, and it has always been more likely that the former Governor would end up in prison than in the White House.

Of course, he kept it classy on his way to the door.

“The answer to a president nominated for soaring rhetoric and no record is not to nominate a candidate whose rhetoric speaks louder than his record. It is not to replicate the Democrat model of selecting a president, falling for the cult of personality over durable life qualities,”

The only down side to Perry leaving the race is that we are now faced with reduced opportunities to laugh and point.

Oh yeah, nice glasses douche bag.

Your snowball, good luck.
Your snowball, good luck.

 

 

The Spectacle of it all

 

Analysis paralysis, yeah it’s a thing, has become my nemesis by teaming up with my natural state of lazy. Seriously, I’ve been in a near constant state of slack-jawed incredulity since the GOP debate. It should have been clear that bringing together that much batshit-stupid and wingnut-crazy, outside of the GOP convention, was irresponsible but Fox went all in.

  

The resulting oratorical shitfest nearly caused me to feel sorry for the Fox moderators, nearly. I was afraid that had it gone on much longer, the Donald would have walked over to Rand Paul and shived him right on camera. That Cicero’s ghost didn’t call in a bomb threat disproves the existence of an afterlife.

Ok, you get it, it was a spectacle, made more surreal by Ben Carson coming across as the most well spoken candidate on stage. Yeah, this guy …

In the ensuing 2½ weeks Trump is polling higher by the week and emptying basements across the land, really, you know them when you see them, fat from momma’s cooking, clutching their Bibles, shielding their eyes from the sun’s glare with a copy of the Constitution while breathing fresh air for the first time since Shrubs administration.

CNN/ORC Poll: Donald Trump now competitive in general election

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The race has turned into a rhetorical arms race of arrogant stupidity. Featuring Trump questioning the constitutionality of the 14th amendment while blessing our political lexicon with the term “anchor baby”.

 

 

 

I think they found their pivot man

The fight for the GOP nomination is starting to yield the comedic absurdity we all expected.   

 … as companies move to distance themselves from the candidate who said that undocumented immigrants from Mexico “killers and rapists.” On Monday, NBC cut ties with Trump and on Wednesday, Macy’s announced it would stop carrying merchandise from his brand.

The only surprise is that not only is Donald Trump at the controls of the GOP flaming kamikaze, but that he’s flying it straight at the party itself,

 “The fact that Donald Trump is exposing a lot of the dirty truths of the Republican party is good in the sense that we want an honest debate,”   Artuo Carmona, Exective Director of latino advocacy group Presente Action to Think Progress.

and, of course, they can’t get out of their own way.

One group that hasn’t yet cut ties with the real estate mogul is the Republican Party. While NBC, Univision and Macy’s have publicly denounced his beliefs, members of the Republican party have remained silent or have expressed their support for his anti-immigrant sentiment. On Tuesday, 2016 candidate Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), whose father is Cuban, defended his opponent, saying, “I like Donald Trump. I think he’s terrific, I think he’s brash, I think he speaks the truth.”

Your snowball, good luck.
Your snowball, good luck.