As fcking with women’s reproductive health services is the #1 political pastime in Texas, just edging out executing it’s citizens, this comes as a surprise to exactly no one. Family values my ass.
“This alarming development coincided with the state’s decision to slash its family planning budget by two-thirds in 2011—an attempt to shut down abortion providers that ultimately forced 82 clinics, many of which never performed the controversial procedure, to close.”
So, ok, the leftovers didn’t even have a chance to cool before the country was introduced to its latest domestic terrorist Robert L. Dear
According to NBC, Robert Lewis Dear — who killed three people including a cop, making him a hero to these “pro-life” folks while shooting up a Colorado Springs Planned Parenthood — reportedly told investigators “no more baby parts” after he was arrested.
This piece of humanlike flotsam represents a piece of GOP ratfuckery that they should be forced to own every time one of them steps in front of a camera or reporters microphone.
Not a few of the GOP candidates should find it necessary to defend themselves in civil and/or criminal court for their part in the charade that has so far left three dead and nine wounded.
Carly Fiorina: I dare Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama to watch these tapes. Watch a fully formed fetus on the table, it’s heart beating, it’s legs kicking while someone says we have to keep it alive to harvest its brain.
Ted Cruz: Well, let me tell you, Dana, number one, I’m proud to stand for life. These Planned Parenthood videos are horrifying. I would encourage every American to watch the videos. See — seeing your Planned Parenthood officials callously, heartlessly bartering and selling the body parts of human beings, and then ask yourself, “are these my values?” These are horrifying. On these videos, Planned Parenthood also essentially confesses to multiple felonies. It is a felony with ten years’ jail term to sell the body parts of unborn children for profit. That’s what these videos show Planned Parenthood doing.
Huckabee: It’s time that we recognize the Supreme Court is not the supreme being, and we change the policy to be pro-life and protect children instead of rip up their body parts and sell them like they’re parts to a Buick.
Ok, that’s not a dog whistle it’s a megaphone, but the foghorn of political rhetoric most likely to end badly comes from Senator Marco Rubio (R-Florida Man), here’s Jedd Legun of Think Progress.
In August, Marco Rubio said, “what’s happening at Planned Parenthood, what’s being revealed in these videos, is atrocious, it’s grotesque, it’s barbaric.” Rubio later accused Planned Parenthood of pushing women into getting abortions “so that those tissues can be harvested and sold for a profit.” He told TMZ that people should be more “fired up” about the Planned Parenthood video.
The pack of feral cats known has the Freedom Caucus has rendered the GOP into a Children’s Treasury of political psychopathology, which generally would be greatly entertaining were it not destroying our government’s ability to govern itself.
Without going into the GOP’s 30-year de-evolutionary descent toward becoming an example of the enlightenments backwash, I will point out that Dante’s Nine Circles of Hell have become equal parts GOP tour guide and pre-candidate checklist. Note that this didn’t start with Donald Trump’s candidacy but rather it made his improbable showing possible. Now we are treated to the embodiment of the Republican id as it goes full on Hannibal Lecter, sans any impulse control, in our national politics.
It has come to the point that the position of Speaker of the House, second in order of succession to the presidency, and the only job the Republicans have created, remains unfilled since John Boehner decided he rather go home and be the great pumpkin. It should be telling that within the largest collection of power hungry political egos in the country no one wants the job.
Meanwhile, out on the campaign trail, a sitting senator, Ted Cruz (R-Insane) is quietly stirring up the basement fantasies of the god bothering, gun fondling, tree of liberty waterers. From Ed Kilgore of The Washington Monthly.
“We’re seeing our freedoms taken away every day and last night was an audition for who would wear the jackboot most vigorously. Last night was an audition for who would embrace government power for who would strip your and my individual liberties,” he said.
“The 2nd Amendment to the Constitution isn’t for just protecting hunting rights, and it’s not only to safeguard your right to target practice. It is a Constitutional right to protect your children, your family, your home, our lives, and to serve as the ultimate check against governmental tyranny — for the protection of liberty,” Cruz wrote to supporters in a fundraising email on Thursday, under the subject line “2nd Amendment against tyranny.”
Sounds like inciting an armed insurrection against the federal government has become a campaign talking point. If any of Cruz’s true believers decides to heed the voices in their head because they thought Ted said they needed to, well then, this won’t end well for any of us.
Ok, it would appear that God is talking to Scott Walker again, though there appears to be some inconsistency with regards to his imaginary friends’ guidance. Let’s review shall we, from the Raw Story.
“As you can imagine, the months leading up to my announcement that I would run for President of the United States were filled with a lot of prayer and soul searching.”
“Here’s why: I needed to be certain that running was God’s calling — not just man’s calling. I am certain: This is God’s plan for me and I am humbled to be a candidate for President of the United States,” Walker said in the email.
Standard political pandering to his God bothering base, then early this week we were made privy to this delusional Divine directive. From the Washington Post.
“Today, I believe that I am being called to lead by helping to clear the field in this race so that a positive, conservative message can rise to the top of the field,” Walker said in a brief speech in Madison, Wisconsin, on Monday evening. “With this in mind, I will suspend my campaign immediately.”
Then, just like his college days, Walker was gone, short of his goal.
When reached backstage, at the Globe Theater, during a smoke break, Actors Guild member Willie Shakespeare had this to say, “Farewell, bastard”.
Your snowball, good luck.
[Ed. note] I wrote this earlier and I couldn’t have been more wrong if the Flying Spaghetti Monster had guided my hand.
The Clown Car is making a stop in Simi Valley, Califorina tonight at the Saint Ronnie Hall of Shame Reagan Presidential Libary, for the second stop on the Stupidity Pays tour, aka. Popcorn and bourbon night at my house. Don’t miss the show folks, in all seriousness, this may be a once in a lifetime event or the start of our dystopian new normal.
ST. LOUIS (AP) — Out of money and relegated once again to the back-of-the-pack debate, former Texas Gov. Rick Perry on Friday dropped out of the race for president, ending his second bid for the Republican presidential nomination and becoming the first major candidate of the 2016 campaign to give up on the White House.
The Perry champaign has run aground, the good news is he is now free to spend more time with his family lawyers.
“The answer to a president nominated for soaring rhetoric and no record is not to nominate a candidate whose rhetoric speaks louder than his record. It is not to replicate the Democrat model of selecting a president, falling for the cult of personality over durable life qualities,”
The only down side to Perry leaving the race is that we are now faced with reduced opportunities to laugh and point.
Analysis paralysis, yeah it’s a thing, has become my nemesis by teaming up with my natural state of lazy. Seriously, I’ve been in a near constant state of slack-jawed incredulity since the GOP debate. It should have been clear that bringing together that much batshit-stupid and wingnut-crazy, outside of the GOP convention, was irresponsible but Fox went all in.
The resulting oratorical shitfest nearly caused me to feel sorry for the Fox moderators, nearly. I was afraid that had it gone on much longer, the Donald would have walked over to Rand Paul and shived him right on camera. That Cicero’s ghost didn’t call in a bomb threat disproves the existence of an afterlife.
Ok, you get it, it was a spectacle, made more surreal by Ben Carson coming across as the most well spoken candidate on stage. Yeah, this guy …
In the ensuing 2½ weeks Trump is polling higher by the week and emptying basements across the land, really, you know them when you see them, fat from momma’s cooking, clutching their Bibles, shielding their eyes from the sun’s glare with a copy of the Constitution while breathing fresh air for the first time since Shrubs administration.
Ben Carson Open To Using Drone Strikes At The Border
Mike Huckabee ponders using the National Guard to shut down Planned Parenthood.
Mike Huckabee Won’t Rule Out Using Federal Troops To Stop Abortions
“I will not pretend there is nothing we can do to stop this.”
Amanda TerkelSenior Political Reporter, The Huffington Post
I’m watching Rand Paul closely, as his campaign slips beneath the waves of bullshit lake, I expect him to display all the composure and self-control of a drowning man.
Wing-nut conspiracy theorists have done it again: The truth about the Planned Parenthood hoax revealed
Well it’s another week and another ratfucking GOP attempt to divert attention from the fact that billionaire buffont buffoon Donald Trump continues to spank their collective asses and will show up at this week’s debate as the front runner by nearly a 2 to 1 margin over second-place Jeb The name that must not be spoken.
And as we now know they failed, because that’s what they truly excel at, ratfucking failure, again from Cesla,
“Over the past week, my office has conducted a thorough review and found that Planned Parenthood League of Massachusetts’ health care centers are fully compliant with state and federal laws regarding the disposition of fetal tissue. Although donation of fetal tissue is permissible under state and federal law, PPLM does not have a tissue donation program. There is no evidence that PPLM is involved in any way in the buying or selling of tissue. As such, our review is complete.”
They deserve credit for one thing though. With this effort they finally crossed the line of shit with which the liberal media will no longer put up with, and had their asses not only called out, from Ana Kasparian, via the Raw Story,
“It’s disgusting. It’s beyond misleading, and the Republican Party again shows you how little they care about the middle class or working class,” she said. “All they care about is misleading people and pandering to the conservative base, which is full of f*cking idiots who are also very, very ill-informed.”
“I come to the Senate floor today to ask my Republican colleagues a question,” she began. “Do you have any idea what year it is? Did you fall down, hit your head, and think you woke up in the 1950s? Or the 1890s? Should we call for a doctor?”
“Because I simply cannot believe that in the year 2015, the United States Senate would be spending its time trying to defund women’s healthcare centers. On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. ”
“I’m sick and tired of it,” Warren added. “Women everywhere are sick and tired of it. The American people are sick and tired of it.”
“Women have lived through a world where backward-looking ideologues tried to interfere with the basic health decisions made by a woman and her doctor, and we are not going back. Not now, not ever.”
They were beautifully trolled as well, from the Republican Family Values Facebook page,
This fight isn’t over, simply because they are too stupid to quit, so look for more on this down the road. Until then, lets enjoy Thursday’s debate and remember, Orville Redenbacher makes 18 different kinds of popcorn.
I’d thank sweet baby Jeebus, if I believed in the little shit, so call it answered prayers, miracles, karma, or simple old-fashioned blind- ass luck. Credit whatever works for you but that headline is such a dream come true that I expect to find a herd of unicorns ridden by leprechauns handing out pots of gold when I get home.
I fully expected the march to the GOP primaries to turn into such a circus-style clusterfuck that it would make the entire Marx Brothers oeuvre play like Shakespeare but hot damn! Mel Brooks, on acid, couldn’t have written the saga of Donald Trump, the GOP id personified, rampaging across the political landscape like Godzilla through Tokyo and sucking up the support of the mouth-breathing GOP base faster than a $2 whore in a prison yard and yet here we are reading such pearls as these,
“If there is a Trump administration, could you see picking up the phone, giving the governor a call and picking her brain on some things, or perhaps having her along in some official capacity.”
“I’d love that,” Trump replied. “Because she really is somebody who knows what’s happening and she’s a special person, she’s really a special person and I think people know that.”
First off, the idea of a “Trump Administration” brings forth visions of a Walmart crowd on double coupon day and you couldn’t pick Palin’s brain with a scanning electron microscope.
As to Palin being “special,” well he got that right but I don’t think he meant the crayon eating-window licking special that is the reality.
This has become a fascinating spectacle and I have no idea how it may play out, but the first GOP debate (sponsored by Fox) is Aug. 6th and , well, did you know that Orville Redenbacher makes 18 different styles of popcorn?
