Tag Archives: Texas

God’s Own Pigs

As fcking with women’s reproductive health services is the #1 political pastime in Texas, just edging out executing it’s citizens, this comes as a surprise to exactly no one. Family values my ass.

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“This alarming development coincided with the state’s decision to slash its family planning budget by two-thirds in 2011—an attempt to shut down abortion providers that ultimately forced 82 clinics, many of which never performed the controversial procedure, to close.”

Your snowball, good luck.
Your snowball, good luck.

 

Another Turd in the Pool

I’m ready to give clowns a break. No one deserves to be mashed up with the likes of the 2016 Republican presidential candidates. Considering that, let’s have a look at the latest steaming pile launched from the monkey house and mental illness vector.

It’s friend of the blog Rick Perry, former Governor of Fuckedupistan Texas and walking punchline from 2012. I guess things have changed since his last campaign let’s check it out.

OK, looks like he got himself a pair of glasses and is going for the intellectual look. Cool, no bigs. Wonder what direction his campaign will take this time.

“2016 will not be an election about lofty rhetoric.”

You know Rick I don’t think anyone is going to be surprised by that but as you’ve seen fit to point it out I should mention that your new glasses just became an allegory for putting lipstick on a pig.

Back to your bag of stupid ideas Rick, what do you have planned for the good old U.S.A.

“We are just a few good decisions away from unleashing economic growth…”

“It can be done because it has been done — in Texas.”

That’s Hope Texas. Actually was Hope Texas. I wonder what that might look like nationwide.

What else you got? Anything to set you apart from the other sociopaths in the lunatic fringe?

A grand jury in Austin indicted him in August on two felony charges of abusing his official capacity and coercing a public servant.

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Sorry, I just face planted into my keyboard.

I guess you may as well go big, before you go home, because that sets you apart from every candidate ever! Screw it. Dream big Rick and check your lipstick.

Your snowball, good luck.
Your snowball, good luck.

 

 

 

 

 

Rick Perry wants to be president, here is why that is not acceptable

Thanks to Thinkprogress, we learned yesterday that curiously human shaped turd Texas Gov. Goodhair “…will not sit idly by…” as the Central American child shock troops continue their blitzkrieg on our southern boarders. After determining that patriots, such as this,GTY_adam_kwasman_jef_140716_16x9_6081
deserve reinforcements, and taking a moment away from admiring how his new “smart” glasses set off his jaw (bone of an ass). The Gov. announced that he would be sending 1,000 National Guard troops to the border.
“I will not stand idly by,” Perry said in making the announcement. He told CNN, “The first thing you have to do is stop the flow [of migrants into the United States].” He also claimed border patrol agents would be distracted by kids crossing the border and would not be able to stop drug traffickers.
Apparently, believing that the U.S. boarder patrol agents are not capable of performing more than one task at a time, stopping drug traffickers and children, due to the especially aggressive tactics of the small brown hoards, i.e., searching out the agents to surrender to, the Gov. decided to heed the call of noted konstituional skolar, Rep. Steve King R- Iowa (Moron)
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Now there is not just one problem here, but we have to start somewhere, so why not with the Supreme Court, and something known as the Supremacy Clause and, not for nothing the fact that Rep. King and a bag of hammers have so much in common.
Seems the court has already ruled on this brand of dumbassery by telling the states that, as it  concerns this immigration issue, well, that is Fed business, so keep your noses and your troops out.
While they were at it, the court invalidated state laws that sought to legislate immigration reform, I’m looking at you Arizona (S.B.1070). Therefore, Rep. King has managed to meet my already low expectations and wrong-footed himself at each opportunity. Well done good sir — truly well done.
Does anyone else have a problem with the dim star, of the lone star state’s plan? Why yes, step right up Congressman Joaquin Castro (D-Texas,) what have you for us today?
“The children fleeing violence in Central America are seeking out border patrol agents. They are not trying to evade them. Why send soldiers to confront these kids?” Castro told Politico, slamming Perry for militarizing a humanitarian situation. “Militarizing our border is the wrong response to the arrival of children.”
That’s nice congressman, but when the governer’s base supporters think this should be the response to their arrival at the border,
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you’ll need to speak up to be heard over the cheering and mouth-breathing of the border loving patriots.
There is more here, but you won’t hear it from me, just follow the link. I will be drinking alone early today.

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Lincoln should have sent Sherman to Texas as well

As thimagee sun rose in Texas Tuesday morning, the racists uh, members of the Sons of Confederate Veterans awoke to bask in the glory of their victory over the tyranny of the freedom hating Texas DMV.

It seems, with no sense of irony whatsoever, the SCV petitioned the federal courts to force Texas to issue license plates with the Confederate battle flag, because a bumper sticker of the flag of a racist, treasonous  army simply wasn’t good enough.

From the Dallas Morning News:
The judges ruled that license plates are a form of “private speech,” and thus protected by the First Amendment. The court also ruled that the Board’s rejection of the plate “favored one speaker over another.”

As always, in cases such as this, one must remember, it’s about heritage, not hate. Of course, if your expressed heritage is symbolized by the banner of a defeated on the battlefield, pro-slavery, breakaway confederacy, well then since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I know I’ll be beholding a racist douchebag piece of shit.

Thank you for self-identifying to the rest of us.