Category Archives: Sam Damon

Please, someone crack a window

The Confederate flag means nothing to most people other than maybe a dipstick or two eating Van Camp’s baked beans out of a can with a plastic spoon and squeeze cheese on a saltine while sitting with two guys in a pickup truck and listening to some country fuck sing a song about Merica  while the three geniuses argue about whose fart stinks worse.

It was yours.

No, yours.

Someone pull Donald Trump’s finger.

Well, give him a chance to take it out of his ass first.

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Nigel Travis, the Slickster Hoser of the Day

travisI love Dunkin Donuts, but this hosehead made $10 million in 2014 and he’s complaining that the company may have to give some DD workers an almost  liveable wage.

In the company’s 2014 annual report to stockholders, CEO Nigel Travis said that since going public in 2011, DD had returned $860 million to its shareholders.

In its latest report filed with the Securities Exchange Commission, DD says it generated $149 million in revenue in the 2015 second quarter alone.

DD has 11,306 franchises worldwide and has started  building new ones in California this year. Its stock sells at $53.82 a share.

Travis  says increasing the minimum wage  from $8.75 to $15 per hour in New York, will kill the company’s  small franchise owners. He also says fast food companies are being picked on.

Quick, hand me a hanky. I’m getting all weepy.

Nigel Travis — he’s the Slickster Hoser of the Day

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Sam Sez

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Get off Tom Brady’s ass

 

Deflategate, smegateflate (you get the idea) has run its course and the gas bag in the front office at NFL headquarters should be ashamed of himself for the way he has treated Tom Terrific. I haven’t seen this much flack since the Argonne in 1918.

alg-tom-brady-lombardi-jpgThis is a picture of Tom Terrific holding up a Super Bowl Trophy. He’s done it four times now. Roger Goodell couldn’t find his own ass with both hands and a road map, so he decides to try and run a smear campaign against the best quarterback in the history of quarterbacks.

Everyone knows Tom Brady. He’s not just a a great quarterback. No. He’s much more than that. If Goodell took his head out of his general rectal area and did some research, he’d find that Tom Brady cured polio, invented bacon, was involved in the development of Cheetos, came up with anesthesia, churned out the first spoonful of butter pecan ice cream and gave it to a little boy after performing the first painless tonsillectomy on a child, wrote Stairway to Heaven, was Joe Frank in the band Hamilton, Joe Frank and Reynolds; once shot a man just for snoring, put the crunch in Nutty Bars, convinced chocolate gurus at Mars that mauve was not a good color for M&Ms, dispatched of Mussolini, patented Donald Trump’s hair mousse, dated Ginger, Mary Anne, Veronica and Betty at the same time and hasn’t seen that spirit here since 1969. Oh, yeah, and in his down time, he won four Super Bowls.

Get a grip Roger.

Damon out.

Deflategate-3

 

OK (but reluctantly)

Sample this.

Paul Ryan should be so proud.

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From the Washington Post’s Dana Milbank concerning the Republican’s intent of giving tax cuts to the wealthiest two-tenths of 1 percent.

” GOP leaders such as Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell of Kentucky and House Speaker John Boehner of Ohio have begun to recognize that the vast gap between rich and poor is detrimental — and to blame the problem on President Obama. Their solution, so far, has been to propose cuts of hundreds of billions of dollars from food stamps, Pell grants, Medicaid and other programs for those without means — and give $269 billion to the few who already have the most.

“It sounds to me like there’s a lot of wealth envy in this country,” Rep. Virginia Foxx, R-N.C., complained while serving as chairwoman of the Rules Committee debate Tuesday. The bill abolishing the estate tax, she said, “will draw a line in the sand.”

Yes, it will: between the wealthiest two-tenths of 1 percent — and everybody else.”

Sam Damon

OK (but reluctantly)

The comedians across the aisle have attacked Hillary Clinton about her age. I particularly liked the one about her discovering fire. Lot of knee slappers there.

All I know is that the music played at this year’s version of CPAC was so old that at one point I thought an announcer was going to break in to say that the Japanese had bombed Pearl Harbor.

Sam Damon

See Rand run, run Rand run (although Dick would apply)

A brief follow-up to Way Cool Jr.’s way good Friday posting about Rand Paul. The man who would be king had another media faux pas on Friday when he decided to abruptly end an interview with The Guardian U.S. 

The gall of some journalists to ask him a question he doesn’t want to answer.

He can’t seem to get out of his own way. Why  would we want him to constantly be in ours?

Sam Damon