Monthly Archives: June 2015

Sam Damon

Sam Sez

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Get off Tom Brady’s ass

 

Deflategate, smegateflate (you get the idea) has run its course and the gas bag in the front office at NFL headquarters should be ashamed of himself for the way he has treated Tom Terrific. I haven’t seen this much flack since the Argonne in 1918.

alg-tom-brady-lombardi-jpgThis is a picture of Tom Terrific holding up a Super Bowl Trophy. He’s done it four times now. Roger Goodell couldn’t find his own ass with both hands and a road map, so he decides to try and run a smear campaign against the best quarterback in the history of quarterbacks.

Everyone knows Tom Brady. He’s not just a a great quarterback. No. He’s much more than that. If Goodell took his head out of his general rectal area and did some research, he’d find that Tom Brady cured polio, invented bacon, was involved in the development of Cheetos, came up with anesthesia, churned out the first spoonful of butter pecan ice cream and gave it to a little boy after performing the first painless tonsillectomy on a child, wrote Stairway to Heaven, was Joe Frank in the band Hamilton, Joe Frank and Reynolds; once shot a man just for snoring, put the crunch in Nutty Bars, convinced chocolate gurus at Mars that mauve was not a good color for M&Ms, dispatched of Mussolini, patented Donald Trump’s hair mousse, dated Ginger, Mary Anne, Veronica and Betty at the same time and hasn’t seen that spirit here since 1969. Oh, yeah, and in his down time, he won four Super Bowls.

Get a grip Roger.

Damon out.

Deflategate-3

 

Way Cool Jr.

We may be getting somewhere

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Understanding that it is impolite call attention to oneself, we here at Slickster will simply point out the following, we have been on this, since July 2014.
As the sun rose in Texas Tuesday morning, the racists, uh, members of the Sons of Confederate Veterans awoke to bask in the glory of their victory over the tyranny of the freedom hating Texas DMV.
It seems, with no sense of irony whatsoever, the SCV petitioned the federal courts to force Texas to issue license plates with the Confederate battle flag, because a bumper sticker of the flag of a racist, treasonous  army simply wasn’t good enough.
From the Dallas Morning News:
The judges ruled that license plates are a form of “private speech,” and thus protected by the First Amendment. The court also ruled that the (Texas DMV’s) rejection of the plate “favored one speaker over another.”
As always, in cases such as this, one must remember, it’s about heritage, not hate. Of course, if your expressed heritage is symbolized by the banner of a defeated on the battlefield, pro-slavery, breakaway confederacy, well then since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I know I’ll be beholding a racist douchebag piece of shit.
Thank you for self-identifying to the rest of us.
Today,  SCOTUS had this to say …
Texas argued that the speech is government speech, not private speech, and that the state is allowed to select the message that it is willing to support.
“Texas is not willing to propagate the Confederate battle flag by etching that image onto state-issued license plates that bear the State’s name,” Solicitor General Jonathan F. Mitchell argued in briefs. He said that drivers could decorate their cars with bumper stickers, “but they cannot commandeer the state into promoting the Confederate battle flag on a state-issued license plate.”
This is the American Swastika (h/t Driftglass)
Your move South Carolina.
Your snowball, good luck.
Your snowball, good luck.

 

 

Way Cool Jr.

The Tao of the Clown Car

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Well, here we learn the benefits of being a lazy “writer”, while procrastinating commenting on Jeb Bush’s (Sprout’s) entrance into the GOP nominating race I’ll be damned if Donald Trump, king of the GOP ass clowns, (which is saying quite a bit), shows up to the party.

These two curiously human shaped turds could hardly be more dissimilar. Bush, as you know, is brother to one past president and son of another. Being slightly left of Genghis Khan but still to the right of Richard Nixon makes Sprout the closest thing the GOP has to offer that the term “establishment candidate” when applied wouldn’t simply lose all meaning in the English language.

Trump, on the other hand, is the billionaire son of a Brooklyn slum lord whose grasp of reality would indicate origins somewhere in the Delta Tau system and is to the GOP what E. coli is to a wedding rehearsal diner.

I can scarcely think of a better roster of bedwetting grifters, political hacks, and religious charlatans than the current GOP lineup.  Led off by the man whose name must not be spoken, anchored by the comb over vector of stupid with an assortment of has-beens, never will bes, and never weres occupying the wasteland between the two. Ridiculous as that maybe there are more out there yet to announce, two of which will compete mightily for the top and bottom spots on the roster.

Stay tuned there’s more to come but for now the stable of stupid is in balance.

Your snowball, good luck.
Your snowball, good luck.
Way Cool Jr.

This is why we can’t have nice things

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Being new to this “writing” thing I still understand that there are days when one is simply in the zone, the words fly from pencil to paper effortlessly. Then there are stories that nearly write themselves. Finally, there are those rare occasions when the two meet and the story drifts over the plate like a mellon in slow motion. I’d like to think that it was so for Ben Dreyfuss, of Mother Jones, Monday afternoon, because he took Senator John Thune’s offering deep and unplayable.

A Republican Senator Just Sent Out a Tweet So Stupid Our Children Will Learn About It in Stories
—Ben Dreyfuss on Mon. June 8, 2015 5:26 PM PDT

Sen. John Thune (R-World Of Pure Imagination) sent out this tweet today in reference to the King v. Burwell lawsuit that’s about to be decided by the Supreme Court.

Not unlike the challenge to Obamacare it is referencing, the tweet is deeply stupid.

Six million people risk losing their health care subsidies, yet continues to deny that Obamacare is bad for the American people.

2:19 PM – 8 Jun 2015

Six million people risk losing their health care subsidies. The health care subsidies those 6 million people could lose are a part of the Affordable Care Act. Conservative enemies of Obamacare are the only reason those subsidies are at risk.

Words! Meaning! John Thune likes putting the former in combinations that are completely devoid of the latter.

I would so have loved to have written that headline.

Your snowball, good luck.
Your snowball, good luck.
Way Cool Jr.

Another Turd in the Pool

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I’m ready to give clowns a break. No one deserves to be mashed up with the likes of the 2016 Republican presidential candidates. Considering that, let’s have a look at the latest steaming pile launched from the monkey house and mental illness vector.

It’s friend of the blog Rick Perry, former Governor of Fuckedupistan Texas and walking punchline from 2012. I guess things have changed since his last campaign let’s check it out.

OK, looks like he got himself a pair of glasses and is going for the intellectual look. Cool, no bigs. Wonder what direction his campaign will take this time.

“2016 will not be an election about lofty rhetoric.”

You know Rick I don’t think anyone is going to be surprised by that but as you’ve seen fit to point it out I should mention that your new glasses just became an allegory for putting lipstick on a pig.

Back to your bag of stupid ideas Rick, what do you have planned for the good old U.S.A.

“We are just a few good decisions away from unleashing economic growth…”

“It can be done because it has been done — in Texas.”

That’s Hope Texas. Actually was Hope Texas. I wonder what that might look like nationwide.

What else you got? Anything to set you apart from the other sociopaths in the lunatic fringe?

A grand jury in Austin indicted him in August on two felony charges of abusing his official capacity and coercing a public servant.

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Sorry, I just face planted into my keyboard.

I guess you may as well go big, before you go home, because that sets you apart from every candidate ever! Screw it. Dream big Rick and check your lipstick.

Your snowball, good luck.
Your snowball, good luck.

 

 

 

 

 

Way Cool Jr.

Another Day, Another Clown Comes Out

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South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham shared with us the worst
kept secret in D.C. when he came out … What? Get a grip! … as the latest Republican to declare his candidacy for the office of   president. The only way this could be more amusing is if he could hire John Waters as his campaign director, of course, his politics wouldn’t change but his style and delivery would be fantastic.
Anyway, the senator wasted no time letting us know that his campaign would be one based on fear.
“… radical Islam is running wild.”
“The world is exploding in terror and violence …”
“There are dangers that must be faced …”
It goes on click the link, if you must, to read it all.
 I’m impressed that he could get off the fainting couch long enough to squeal that tirade. The only thing missing was Sen. John McCain acting as Graham’s handmaiden and soothing his jangled nerves. Who would have thought that Graham would show up to the right of Attila and butch up the Republican candidate pool?
There you have it Slicksters the latest clown is in the car and I just realized I’ve almost got my GOP candidate diversity bingo card filled, so I’ve got that going for me.
Your snowball, good luck.
Your snowball, good luck.