Yeah, yeah, I know old Joe Conrad might try to come at me in the hereafter over that title, but I’m betting our paths don’t cross, and anyway I’ve got more pressing concerns in the here and now. It seems that when I awoke Wednesday morning I was so far behind enemy lines it would have made Owen Wilson blush, which would be pretty cool if Gene Hackman was bringing the Marines to come rescue my happy liberal ass, but that ain’t happening. So, as it stands, it would seem that over the course of Tuesday a majority of my fellow Americans voted themselves into the Republic of Dumbfuckistan (h/t to Seahag), effectively stranding those of us that don’t watch Fox News while channeling Glenn Beck and Alex Jones through our fillings, and colonoscopy bags.

Imagine waking up in a version of Red Dawn and instead of Cubans (yeah, I’m showing my age) running loose, it’s the Republicans. Fortunately, they’ve been so giddy over their power windfall, they’ve yet to give much attention to the blues in their midst. I expect that to change, soon. Those of us that are out in the open look like someone spilled Viagra into the marinara. By next week, I expect to be going out only at night to forage for bourbon and cigarettes. I’ll be slipping this to Slappy, for editing, as soon as I get it in the toothpaste tube.

Until next time, here is a graphic of our new reality. I’m out there in that sea of red, reading David Kilcullen’s ‘The Accidental Guerrilla”.