If you are not a right wing consumer of religious propaganda or Fox News viewer, but I repeat myself, allow me to introduce Cal Thomas, op-ed columnist for the Tribune Content Agency, Where Rights Come From.

 CNN anchor Chris Cuomo had an exchange with Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore about Moore’s refusal to adhere to a federal appellate judge’s order to ignore the state constitution and begin granting marriage licenses to same-sex couples, during which Moore said “…our rights contained in the Bill of Rights do not come from the Constitution, they come from God.”

Justice Moore is a well known God-bothering Christopath, who most recently sought to protect Alabama from Sharia law and is now attempting to deny equal rights to same sex couples based on his personal religious principles. Raise your hands and give me a heartfelt HYPOCRITE! HALLELUJAH! For fuck’s sake, this ass is the Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court. The requirements for which must be a pulse, room temperature I.Q., and blind faith, lots of blind faith. Anyway, let’s see what Cuomo’s response was,

 Cuomo disagreed: “Our laws do not come from God, your honor, and you know that. They come from man.”

 Fair enough, for me, but where does Thomas stand on that response?

 Obviously, Cuomo flunked civics.

 You know Cal, I’m not sure that’s so obvious, let’s explore.

He attended The Albany Academy, received his undergraduate degree from Yale University, and his Juris Doctor from Fordham University and is a licensed attorney.[1][2]

 If I was a betting man Cal, I’d be taking the passing civics grade and giving a fuckton of points.

What I believe his point was, is that God didn’t have anything to do with the bill of rights.

Thomas’ response?

 It is not a new debate, but a debate worth renewing.

 You sure you want to do this?

 The framers of the Constitution clearly understood that in order to put certain rights out of the reach of government, whose power they wished to limit, those rights had to come from a place government could not reach.

 Ok, Mr. Madison you have the floor.

 Ecclesiastical establishments tend to great ignorance and corruption, all of which facilitate the execution of mischievous projects. [James Madison, letter to William Bradford, Jr., January 1774]

 I believe that is why those same framers choose the government to secure our freedoms rather than leave them to the whims of organized religion.

You catch that Justice Moore?

 Thomas Jefferson understood this well enough to write in the Declaration of Independence that our rights to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” are “endowed by our Creator.”

In today’s political arena that is an example of “playing to the base”. Just like your work, but presented in beautiful prose. What else do you have there?

The only way to preserve them for ourselves and our posterity is to acknowledge they come from a higher place.

 Just like Sharia law? Justice Moore! Please close your Bible and pay attention.

In its strictest and most historically coherent definition, Sharia is considered the infallible law of God.

Compare and contrast then get back to me.

 Ok, next Thomas introduces William Blackstone, an English jurist of the time, to give us his views on Natural Law and all is well and good. The problem arises when Thomas informs that —

 Blackstone was a contemporary of America’s Founders, who referred to him more than any other English or American authority.

 While factually correct it would have been journalistically more honest had he referenced James Wilson, John Witherspoon, and Thomas Reid, all Scotsmen and of much greater influence on both Madison, and Jefferson, as well as John Adams, with respect to their philosophy of Natural Law and “… inalienable rights.”

The link is there, but my point is, for Thomas, Natural Law, which he never explicitly names as such, isn’t recognized until St. Francis decides to absorb it into Christian doctrine, as they did the pagan holidays.

You look a little unsteady there Justice Moore, are you OK?

Anyway, his point can only be made if one ignores Plato, Aristotle, the Stoics, and Cicero. Damn, that’s a set of balls of hubris that would make a pedophile priest blush.

(Wow, that was long and kind of serious, Slappy’s really not going to be happy with me.)

Let’s get back to Cal, seems Justice Moore is feeling better.

Man enacted laws sanctioning same-sex marriage. Judge Roy Moore argues that a Higher law, including for human relationships, should prevail, a Higher law that man cannot impeach. I believe he’s right.

Now that’s really impressive, I’ve been to a buzzard fucking, paid a dime to watch a ant crawl up a horses ass, with rape on its mind, and two gas station openings, but I’ve never seen a man stick his head up another man’s ass while the recipient’s head was already in place!

Finally, Thomas takes the required jab at secular progressives (Democrats, atheists, non-conservative asshats, etc).

 Secular progressives believe in a “living Constitution” that constantly “evolves” to serve the people. The Founders (and Blackstone) believed the people are best served when they conform to laws established by God.

 Actually that’s the first sentence he’s written that I agree with. As to the rest — BULL. FUCKING. SHIT. Madison virtually never spoke of his own religious beliefs, and the only reason Jefferson did was to defend himself against charges of atheism.

Thomas uses his closing paragraph to throw in a little standardized conservative fear mongering, got to keep the bases ass clinched.

One doesn’t have to believe in God for this to work, but the alternative potentially puts the rights of everyone in peril should one group, or class, fall out of favor.

 Finally, Thomas, in print, declares Justice Moore … Hey, you awake over there? … right on the issue.

This is why Chris Cuomo is wrong about the source of our laws and Judge Moore is right.

In closing, I can only say, ‘When you’re done using your pen to fluff the conservative cause, I hope you enjoy whatever eternity consists of, with them, on the wrong side of history, hack.