It’s been quite the momentous couple of weeks since we were last together. Seems that the Confederate flag is out and the rainbow flag is in, which is causing the mouth-breathing, christopathic, god botherers to cry crocodile tears and to begin planning for the rapture when they’re not burning down historic black churches and sending out death threats to ministers. Good thing it’s about heritage and not hate. Anyway, congratulations to the LGBT community on gaining complete personhood in the eyes of the law, something corporations achieved five years ago.

The GOP crazy train pulled into the siding for a cattle call on the clown car. Things got hairy at the start with Chris Cristie (R-Tollbridge) running off body weight and reducing his market value while chasing Bobby Jindal (R-Failed State) around the cattle yard with visions of a noon-time snack dancing in his eyes. This allowed George Pataki (R-Who?) and John Kasich (R-No really, who?) to quietly load which came as no surprise as they have all the name recognition of a pair of street mimes in a Bogata slum. So, the roster of future losers continues to grow and remember there are more to come and none of them will be any more reassuring than the current clusters of fuck making up the insane clown posse. The debates can’t get here soon enough, I’m really hoping for a cage match format.