The jockeying for position in the GOP clown car has begun in earnest with Rand Paul, the junior senator from Kentucky, officially declaring this week.  Before you could say “… what the fuck is that on his head?” parts started flying off in all directions. His campaign is a swarm of locusts from becoming the train wreck of biblical proportions I suspected it might. Let’s take a look at his first few days.

Right out of the gate Chia Head wandered into the journalistic wheelhouse of Mr. Charles Pierce who, unlike Kentucky voters, listens to what politicians actually say,

“We need to boldly proclaim our vision for America. We need to go boldly forth under the banner of liberty that clutches the Constitution in one hand and the Bill of Rights in the other.” — Paul

“First of all, banners don’t have hands. Second of all, you can carry the Constitution and the Bill of Rights in one hand because they are part of the same document. I mention this because, one day, Aqua Buddha might want to go boldly forth while eating a sandwich.” — Pierce

I don’t think that one is going to be playable.

Ok, how is the rest of the well-oiled campaign machine fairing?

“Rand Paul Opposes A One-Size-Fits-All Approach to Eductation,” the campaign said.

Holy shit, Education, really?! You can play that in Kentucky where the shit for brains voters who elected you can’t spell it either, but once again, you’re going nationwide now so your staff will need be more talented than your hair stylist.

Alright, let’s see how he is faring with the traditional media,

Paul grew testy when pressed in the interview on the question of exceptions. “I gave you about a five-minute answer. Put in my five-minute answer,” he said.

Later in the day, when asked after a campaign stop in Milford about the interview, which the Democratic National Committee had sent reporters, Paul said, “Why don’t we ask the DNC: Is it OK to kill a 7-pound baby in the uterus?”

“You go back and go ask (DNC head) Debbie Wasserman Schultz if she’s OK with killing a 7-pound baby that’s just not born yet,” Paul said. “Ask her when life begins, and ask Debbie when she’s willing to protect life. When you get an answer from Debbie, come back to me.”

In response, Wasserman Schultz said, “I support letting women and their doctors make this decision without government getting involved. Period. End of story.”

Probably just some rookie jitters and honestly being from  Kentucky he simply may not be accustomed to being questioned by a woman,  what came next,

“What I would say is, there has always been a threat of Iran gaining nuclear weapons and I think that’s greater now than it was many years ago. I think we should do everything we can to stop them,” Paul said to host Savannah Guthrie. But in 2007, Paul, then a surrogate for his father’s presidential campaign, told radio host Alex Jones that “Even our own intelligence community consensus opinion now is that they’re not a threat.” “You know, it’s ridiculous to think they’re a threat to our national security,” he added.

Asked to clarify the contradiction, Paul first bickered with the question, challenged Guthrie’s interview skills, and then reluctantly explained that he made his comments before he ran for office. “2007 was a long time ago and events do change over long periods of time,” Paul said. “We’re talking about a time when I wasn’t running for office, when I was helping someone else run for office.”

Wow, it’s only been three days, I’m not sure he can sustain this pace. It just occurred to me that he’s yet to deal with an actual opponent.

When he crosses paths with the twisted and delusional rageaholic Ted Cruz, why his hair may catch fire, not necessarily a bad thing. Anyway, welcome to the show Chia Head.