The pack of feral cats known has the Freedom Caucus has rendered the GOP into a Children’s Treasury of political psychopathology, which generally would be greatly entertaining were it not destroying our government’s ability to govern itself.
Without going into the GOP’s 30-year de-evolutionary descent toward becoming an example of the enlightenments backwash, I will point out that Dante’s Nine Circles of Hell have become equal parts GOP tour guide and pre-candidate checklist. Note that this didn’t start with Donald Trump’s candidacy but rather it made his improbable showing possible. Now we are treated to the embodiment of the Republican id as it goes full on Hannibal Lecter, sans any impulse control, in our national politics.
It has come to the point that the position of Speaker of the House, second in order of succession to the presidency, and the only job the Republicans have created, remains unfilled since John Boehner decided he rather go home and be the great pumpkin. It should be telling that within the largest collection of power hungry political egos in the country no one wants the job.
Meanwhile, out on the campaign trail, a sitting senator, Ted Cruz (R-Insane) is quietly stirring up the basement fantasies of the god bothering, gun fondling, tree of liberty waterers. From Ed Kilgore of The Washington Monthly.
“We’re seeing our freedoms taken away every day and last night was an audition for who would wear the jackboot most vigorously. Last night was an audition for who would embrace government power for who would strip your and my individual liberties,” he said.
“The 2nd Amendment to the Constitution isn’t for just protecting hunting rights, and it’s not only to safeguard your right to target practice. It is a Constitutional right to protect your children, your family, your home, our lives, and to serve as the ultimate check against governmental tyranny — for the protection of liberty,” Cruz wrote to supporters in a fundraising email on Thursday, under the subject line “2nd Amendment against tyranny.”
Sounds like inciting an armed insurrection against the federal government has become a campaign talking point. If any of Cruz’s true believers decides to heed the voices in their head because they thought Ted said they needed to, well then, this won’t end well for any of us.
Analysis paralysis, yeah it’s a thing, has become my nemesis by teaming up with my natural state of lazy. Seriously, I’ve been in a near constant state of slack-jawed incredulity since the GOP debate. It should have been clear that bringing together that much batshit-stupid and wingnut-crazy, outside of the GOP convention, was irresponsible but Fox went all in.
The resulting oratorical shitfest nearly caused me to feel sorry for the Fox moderators, nearly. I was afraid that had it gone on much longer, the Donald would have walked over to Rand Paul and shived him right on camera. That Cicero’s ghost didn’t call in a bomb threat disproves the existence of an afterlife.
Ok, you get it, it was a spectacle, made more surreal by Ben Carson coming across as the most well spoken candidate on stage. Yeah, this guy …
In the ensuing 2½ weeks Trump is polling higher by the week and emptying basements across the land, really, you know them when you see them, fat from momma’s cooking, clutching their Bibles, shielding their eyes from the sun’s glare with a copy of the Constitution while breathing fresh air for the first time since Shrubs administration.
Ben Carson Open To Using Drone Strikes At The Border
Mike Huckabee ponders using the National Guard to shut down Planned Parenthood.
Mike Huckabee Won’t Rule Out Using Federal Troops To Stop Abortions
“I will not pretend there is nothing we can do to stop this.”
Amanda TerkelSenior Political Reporter, The Huffington Post
I’m watching Rand Paul closely, as his campaign slips beneath the waves of bullshit lake, I expect him to display all the composure and self-control of a drowning man.
Bible banging bigot Ted Cruz was out pandering to his base this week when he stopped in to chat with National Socialist right-wing radio host Eric Metaxas about the most recent “… greatest threat we’ve ever seen.” (by “we”, he is referring to the voices in his head). What has Ted’s panties in a wad this week? (h/t to Sea Hagg)
Ted Cruz: Gay Marriage Is The Greatest Threat To Religious Freedom In American History
Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas, the Republican presidential candidate who believes that the gay “jihad” may soon lead to the imprisonment of pastors and the end of free speech, told a right-wing radio host yesterday that the legalization of same-sex marriage represents the greatest threat to religious liberty in the history of the United States.
Take a seat ISIS, you’ve been upstaged by the gay jihad.
Ok, just a minute, what in the hell does a “gay jihad” look like? I mean are we talking fabulously turned out men and women riding flying unicorns, shooting rainbows from their asses to a blaring soundtrack of Judy Garland show tunes, ala, Gaypocalypse Now? Furthermore, how do Ted’s tinfoil hat wearing, mouth breathing uber morons defend against such a force? Do they show up mixing stripes and plaids in the hope of offending their sensibilities to death? Damn, I mean really, goddamn, that is some weapons grade stupidity.
Now about this “religious liberty” bullshit, being a devout non-believer myself that phrase implies the liberty to keep your beliefs to yourself. I realize, however, that is not the accepted definition. It does occur to me though that the more rational population of believers and leaders might want to rescue that phrase from the GOP, because aggressively pursuing the right to discriminate behind a veil of faith is really poisoning the well among the majority of us who don’t care if two people in love want to marry.
You know, I don’t understand the GOP plan. Here they are aggressively offending the gay community, women, non-white voters, and the thinking segment of the population, to what end? Is it to prove that even stupid people can win elections? Nevermind, my opening sentence proved that point. We are so screwed.
Ok, so, a preacher, a CEO, and a doctor walk into a bar …wap, wap, wap. What did you expect, they’re the newest passengers in the GOP clown car, on the drive to political obscurity.
With the addition of Mike Huckabee, Carly Fiorina, and Ben Carson I think they need to upgrade to a short bus and crash helmets, hell it’s a job creation moment (I’m sure they would be so proud) .They’ll need a driver as well as an attendant, to keep up with the window licking. Enough with the transportation issues let’s meet the candidates.
“If you want to believe that you and your family came from apes, that’s fine. I’ll accept that,” he said Friday. “I just don’t happen to think that I did.”
As for what should be taught in public schools, Huckabee said he wants “schools to acknowledge that there are views that are different than evolution.”
Evolution denial, well that’s a staple at the GOP “I’m not a scientist” crowd. Got anything else that might set him apart?
Mike Huckabee defends Bible cancer cure scam: It’s like selling ‘catheters or adult diapers’
Fair enough, that will get you a seat at the GOP last supper.
Bloomberg View bluntly stated she was veritable train wreck of a leader, one whom not only led the company into financial disaster because of poor market judgments, but contributed to dissent and chaos among board members. Fiorina hasn’t had a similar role since and has instead turned to politics, losing her run for Senate in 2010.
Both a failed CEO and senate candidate, what’s not to like, welcome aboard loser.
Congress should be able to remove judges for voting for marriage equality
Being gay is a choice because prison turns people gay
There’s no such thing as a war crime
Obamacare is the worst thing since slavery
Obama is depressing the economy to keep people on welfare
Obama signed immigration reform to bring in government-dependent voters
Yikes, proving once again that education should never be equated with intelligence. Ben’s going to fit right in with this bunch.
I’m guessing that the bible humping rageaholic shut-ins are going to feel as if they’ve been given free reign in the GOP Whorehouse bar and grill by the time the six current candidates get through humping them for their vote.
I’m telling you, the debates, between these six clowns and those that have yet to declare, should be a comedic clusterfuck of epic proportions.
The jockeying for position in the GOP clown car has begun in earnest with Rand Paul, the junior senator from Kentucky, officially declaring this week. Before you could say “… what the fuck is that on his head?” parts started flying off in all directions. His campaign is a swarm of locusts from becoming the train wreck of biblical proportions I suspected it might. Let’s take a look at his first few days.
Right out of the gate Chia Head wandered into the journalistic wheelhouse of Mr. Charles Pierce who, unlike Kentucky voters, listens to what politicians actually say,
“We need to boldly proclaim our vision for America. We need to go boldly forth under the banner of liberty that clutches the Constitution in one hand and the Bill of Rights in the other.” — Paul
“First of all, banners don’t have hands. Second of all, you can carry the Constitution and the Bill of Rights in one hand because they are part of the same document. I mention this because, one day, Aqua Buddha might want to go boldly forth while eating a sandwich.” — Pierce
“Rand Paul Opposes A One-Size-Fits-All Approach to Eductation,” the campaign said.
Holy shit, Education, really?! You can play that in Kentucky where the shit for brains voters who elected you can’t spell it either, but once again, you’re going nationwide now so your staff will need be more talented than your hair stylist.
Paul grew testy when pressed in the interview on the question of exceptions. “I gave you about a five-minute answer. Put in my five-minute answer,” he said.
Later in the day, when asked after a campaign stop in Milford about the interview, which the Democratic National Committee had sent reporters, Paul said, “Why don’t we ask the DNC: Is it OK to kill a 7-pound baby in the uterus?”
“You go back and go ask (DNC head) Debbie Wasserman Schultz if she’s OK with killing a 7-pound baby that’s just not born yet,” Paul said. “Ask her when life begins, and ask Debbie when she’s willing to protect life. When you get an answer from Debbie, come back to me.”
In response, Wasserman Schultz said, “I support letting women and their doctors make this decision without government getting involved. Period. End of story.”
Probably just some rookie jitters and honestly being from Kentucky he simply may not be accustomed to being questioned by a woman, what came next,
“What I would say is, there has always been a threat of Iran gaining nuclear weapons and I think that’s greater now than it was many years ago. I think we should do everything we can to stop them,” Paul said to host Savannah Guthrie. But in 2007, Paul, then a surrogate for his father’s presidential campaign, told radio host Alex Jones that “Even our own intelligence community consensus opinion now is that they’re not a threat.” “You know, it’s ridiculous to think they’re a threat to our national security,” he added.
Asked to clarify the contradiction, Paul first bickered with the question, challenged Guthrie’s interview skills, and then reluctantly explained that he made his comments before he ran for office. “2007 was a long time ago and events do change over long periods of time,” Paul said. “We’re talking about a time when I wasn’t running for office, when I was helping someone else run for office.”
Wow, it’s only been three days, I’m not sure he can sustain this pace. It just occurred to me that he’s yet to deal with an actual opponent.
When he crosses paths with the twisted and delusional rageaholic Ted Cruz, why his hair may catch fire, not necessarily a bad thing. Anyway, welcome to the show Chia Head.
Oh my! The 2016 GOP clown car has a driver and is sitting in the pole position for the race to the White House. Much to the delight of smart ass liberal bloggers throughout the land, Tailgunner Ted Cruz (R-Calgary) has announced his intent to be thoroughly mocked and soundly rejected by his own party pursue the 2016 GOP nomination for president. Yeah, I know, hard to imagine a redder piece of meat for the left end of the blogosphere. It’s only going to get better as the car fills up, in the coming months, with other fluffers of the GOP psychward announcing.
My first reaction was to spew bourbon all over my monitor, my next move was to get the hand lotion and wet naps because, holy shit, this is going to be fun. I just hope he doesn’t flameout too quickly, there’s a lot of crazy-stupid burning in this man. One of the Tailgunner’s endearing qualities is that he’s never had a stupid thought cross his mind that failed to come out his mouth.
Admittedly, that’s a short trip, but even though he has President Obama’s education he is apparently driven by the politics and intellect of Sarah Palin.
“Speaking to the Texas Tribune on Tuesday, Cruz said that contemporary ‘global warming alarmists are the equivalent of the flat-Earthers.
‘You know it used to be it is accepted scientific wisdom the Earth is flat, and this heretic named Galileo was branded a denier,’ he said.
In Cruz’s opinion, when it comes to climate change, his denier position places him alongside 17th Century scientist Galileo Galilei, who was also considered to be denying the mainstream knowledge of his day. According to Cruz’s logic, he is taking the minority view that human-caused climate change is not happening, just as Galileo took the minority view that the scientific method should be trusted over the Catholic Church.“
While simultaneously getting his cyber-ass handed to him on Twitter via #TedCruzCampaignSlogans.
