Oh my! The 2016 GOP clown car has a driver and is sitting in the pole position for the race to the White House. Much to the delight of smart ass liberal bloggers throughout the land, Tailgunner Ted Cruz (R-Calgary) has announced his intent to be thoroughly mocked and soundly rejected by his own party pursue the 2016 GOP nomination for president. Yeah, I know, hard to imagine a redder piece of meat for the left end of the blogosphere. It’s only going to get better as the car fills up, in the coming months, with other fluffers of the GOP psychward announcing.
My first reaction was to spew bourbon all over my monitor, my next move was to get the hand lotion and wet naps because, holy shit, this is going to be fun. I just hope he doesn’t flameout too quickly, there’s a lot of crazy-stupid burning in this man. One of the Tailgunner’s endearing qualities is that he’s never had a stupid thought cross his mind that failed to come out his mouth.
Admittedly, that’s a short trip, but even though he has President Obama’s education he is apparently driven by the politics and intellect of Sarah Palin.
True to form, Calgary Ted wasted no time spouting some breathtakingly stupid from his piehole. Here’s a taste:
“Speaking to the Texas Tribune on Tuesday, Cruz said that contemporary ‘global warming alarmists are the equivalent of the flat-Earthers.
‘You know it used to be it is accepted scientific wisdom the Earth is flat, and this heretic named Galileo was branded a denier,’ he said.
While simultaneously getting his cyber-ass handed to him on Twitter via #TedCruzCampaignSlogans.
#TedCruzCampaignSlogans My dad’s Cuban, I’m Canadian, Vote For Me Because Jesus.
I’m Marginally Smarter Than Rick Perry #TedCruzCampaignSlogans
#TedCruzCampaignSlogans I’m riding to the Whitehouse the Republican way. On a dinosaur.
There are many more please check them out and enjoy!
This is just the start of what could be the most entertaining GOP primary season since…well, the last one! I cant wait for the crazy train to fill up and pull out of the station.
“I’ve listened to the preachers
Huckabee (R-Christopath)
I’ve listened to the fools
Perry (R-Indicted) Jindal (R-Stupid)
I’ve watched all the dropouts
Walker (R-Koch Industries)
Who make their own rules
Christie (R-A Bridge Too Far)
One person conditioned to rule and control
Bush (R-420)
The media sells it and you live the role
Ryan (R-Mathamagician)
Rubio (R-Hapless)
Mental wounds still screaming
Palin (R-Moron) Paul (R-Randite)
Driving me insane
Cruz (R-Texanada)
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train
Graham (R- Closeted)“
