Tag Archives: Mike Huckabee

The Spectacle of it all

 

Analysis paralysis, yeah it’s a thing, has become my nemesis by teaming up with my natural state of lazy. Seriously, I’ve been in a near constant state of slack-jawed incredulity since the GOP debate. It should have been clear that bringing together that much batshit-stupid and wingnut-crazy, outside of the GOP convention, was irresponsible but Fox went all in.

  

The resulting oratorical shitfest nearly caused me to feel sorry for the Fox moderators, nearly. I was afraid that had it gone on much longer, the Donald would have walked over to Rand Paul and shived him right on camera. That Cicero’s ghost didn’t call in a bomb threat disproves the existence of an afterlife.

Ok, you get it, it was a spectacle, made more surreal by Ben Carson coming across as the most well spoken candidate on stage. Yeah, this guy …

In the ensuing 2½ weeks Trump is polling higher by the week and emptying basements across the land, really, you know them when you see them, fat from momma’s cooking, clutching their Bibles, shielding their eyes from the sun’s glare with a copy of the Constitution while breathing fresh air for the first time since Shrubs administration.

CNN/ORC Poll: Donald Trump now competitive in general election

11938773_10205246405143369_264766804_n

The race has turned into a rhetorical arms race of arrogant stupidity. Featuring Trump questioning the constitutionality of the 14th amendment while blessing our political lexicon with the term “anchor baby”.

 

 

 

Three of a kind, again

 

Ok, so, a preacher, a CEO, and a doctor walk into a bar …wap, wap, wap. What did you expect, they’re the newest passengers in the GOP clown car, on the drive to political obscurity.

With the addition of Mike Huckabee, Carly Fiorina, and Ben Carson I think they need to upgrade to a short bus and crash helmets, hell it’s a job creation moment (I’m sure they would be so proud) .They’ll need a driver as well as an attendant, to keep up with the window licking. Enough with the transportation issues let’s meet the candidates.

First up, well known god botherer and former Governor Mike Huckabee.

“If you want to believe that you and your family came from apes, that’s fine. I’ll accept that,” he said Friday. “I just don’t happen to think that I did.”

As for what should be taught in public schools, Huckabee said he wants “schools to acknowledge that there are views that are different than evolution.”

Evolution denial, well that’s a staple at the GOP “I’m not a scientist” crowd. Got anything else that might set him apart?

Mike Huckabee defends Bible cancer cure scam: It’s like selling ‘catheters or adult diapers’

Fair enough, that will get you a seat at the GOP last supper.

Up next, we have Carly Fiorina a former CEO of Hewlett-Packard.

Bloomberg View bluntly stated she was veritable train wreck of a leader, one whom not only led the company into financial disaster because of poor market judgments, but contributed to dissent and chaos among board members. Fiorina hasn’t had a similar role since and has instead turned to politics, losing her run for Senate in 2010.

Both a failed CEO and senate candidate, what’s not to like, welcome aboard loser.

Finally, we come to retired brain surgeon Ben Carson and my what a treat he is.

Anarchy could cancel the 2016 election

Congress should be able to remove judges for voting for marriage equality

Being gay is a choice because prison turns people gay

There’s no such thing as a war crime

Obamacare is the worst thing since slavery

Obama is depressing the economy to keep people on welfare

Obama signed immigration reform to bring in government-dependent voters

Yikes, proving once again that education should never be equated with intelligence. Ben’s going to fit right in with this bunch.

I’m guessing that the bible humping rageaholic shut-ins are going to feel as if they’ve been given free reign in the GOP Whorehouse bar and grill by the time the six current candidates get through humping them for their vote.

I’m telling you, the debates, between these six clowns and those that have yet to declare, should be a comedic clusterfuck of epic proportions.

Your snowball, good luck.
Your snowball, good luck.